Rubbish Brain

A recent conversation with a fellow blogger had me thinking about the pressure young children are under at school.  As a previous school teacher, she found this pressure difficult for both the teac…

Source: Rubbish Brain


Unfinished Tenancy

via Daily Prompt: Unfinished


9/26/16 – Monday

3:48pm Sent email confirming move out day would be Friday morning and included an address on where to send security deposit.

7:30pm arrived “home”.  Landlord  was on the phone, but greeted me cheerfully and asked how my day was.  I went to my room, read a book and watched the Trump/Clinton debate.

7:45-9:00 – continual banging and clanking of kitchen pots, dishes/utensils – apparently this was directed at me, although I was unaware of this at the time and thought lanslord was cleaning her cabinets out.

9:00 – Landlord stomped loudly up the stairs, banged loudly on the door and started screaming through the door for me to “get out of her house”, accusing me of questioning the cleanliness of her house, and saying that I accused her of living off the taxpayers. This seemed abrupt and sudden as our interactions and emails were always friendly and polite.  She slid a sloppy $1000 check under the door (security deposit return)  as she yelled for me to leave.  I still had 4 nights left on my lease.

9:15 As I was packing I called the police because I felt threatened by landlord’s aggressive behavior. I made 3 trips to the car to remove my items from her house. She slammed the door violently behind me each time I left. 

I did not return a fourth time to take the one item in the fridge (leftover chicken leg/thigh from diner), and three items (baggies, canned chicken and canned baked beans) in the pantry. I also left a small container of laundry soap behind.

9:28pm received an odd email from her with one word “foiled.” in the message. I do not know what was meant by it.

9/27/16 – Tuesday

8:01am – received a text that she stopped payment on the security deposit return check pending my assurance that I will not “stir trouble”. My response was that she has 14 days per the lease to refund my security deposit.

 I also informed her via text that she returned the wrong car key to me when I gave her the house key, and that I will mail the car key to her when I receive the correct key in the mail.

12:00pm – Went thru the bank drive thru to attempt to cash the check, was told there were insufficient funds in the account … no stop payment applied.  I deposited the check into my bank account.  It might bounce.


“If you’re yelling you’re the one who’s lost control of the conversation.””>Daily Prompt: Unfinished

Daily Prompt: Generous

via Daily Prompt: Generous

One of the most meaningful and moving acts of generosity I have witnessed, received, given and felt profoundly has been a generosity of the heart and spirit. It is giving by withholding if you will. Allowing someone their dignity by just letting them be where they are in the moment… without correction, opinion, well-meaning guidance or a friendly, sarcastic, or muttered comment. For some it is the most difficult form of generosity to give, yet it costs nothing and reaps untold rewards.
This can look like letting a mispronounced or misused word go uncorrected, keeping an opinion to yourself, letting someone have that point of view that doesn’t meet with your agreement, choking back an insincere “yay” that rings hollow, withholding that eye roll when someone says something you don’t want to hear. It is keeping silent that opinion when you were not asked, and avoiding showing your superiority when someone is not up to your particular standards.
I think you get it. At times it feels like grace. It can also feel like love. It might go unnoticed and it might never be acknowledged. It will however, be felt and appreciated, sometimes on an unperceivable level. It will build trust in relationships and people will feel safe with you.

<a href=””>Generous</a&gt;

Ruminations on Jump

via Daily Prompt: Jump

Physically it hurts my body to jump. I want to buy a trampoline rebounder like Tony Robbins has so I can jump on that.  It’s a bit pricey.

Mentally I will occasionally use the phrase “jump off it” in order to let go of something I’m hanging on to that is not serving me. Sometimes I refuse. I should jump off it with my brother. I kind of have, but I haven’t told him. He’ll probably just annoy me again anyway.

I love watching my granddaughter jump. Reminds me of when her mommy was little.  We called her “jumping Julie” because she loved her jump rope at around age 5, then the trampoline as she got older.

I jumped out of an airplane 5 years ago, when my marriage was ending and I was feeling free and adventurous… or maybe suicidal. It was tandem jump with a cute guy. He actually jumped, and pushed me ahead of him. I did not like the free fall, but once the canopy opened, it was lovely. I have it on a VHS tape to relive occasionally. I don’t need to do that again…ever.



I received an email invitation to attend a “silent yoga/mediation retreat” in October; something I’ve always wanted to try.  The cost is an affordable $30 for one day, $130 to stay overnight and attend two days.  Yoga and meditation are offered for those who choose to participate; nature trails and beautiful scenery are there to enjoy if that’s all you want or need.

Appealing as the initial invitation was, after pondering whether to dedicate an entire weekend to silence, I decided to pass.

The reasons are many:

Fear:  the facilitator might have an alternative agenda.  Sometimes (a lot of the time) I find yoga and meditation instructors to be desensitized to their audience, and the practice becomes about them and their own issues.  Annoying.  I’ve practiced long enough to know what I like and need in a yoga class and who better to guide me than me?  I know where to find inspiration when I need it.

Monotony: As a consultant, I live 100 miles from my home during the work week and spend weekday evenings alone, mostly at the gym or dining by myself.  That’s a lot of silence already.

Just another attempt to “fix” my discontent:  The answers are already inside of me, and I know how to tap them.

Heightened discernment:  I no longer say “yes” to everything that appears to be interesting.  I can prioritize my life and activities effectively.

I know how to say no:  I recently read an article, true or not, about Warren Buffet and how he keeps his life simple and his calendar clear.  He says no.  And so can I.

The lessons I learned in the week following the receipt of the invitation have been empowering for me.  I can decide, I can listen to my heart and make the right choice for myself. 

I told David that I would stay home with him and let him annoy me instead. He said he would be happy to oblige.